Secrets of a Joyful Life: part one
July 12th, 2010 § Leave a Comment
The first secret to living a joyful life is this. Give up the word “should”.
I spent years trying to be perfect because I thought I should be. I had this belief that if I were perfect, and everything I did was perfect, I would be happy. It didn’t work. I wasn’t perfect and therefore I wasn’t happy. Lots of therapy, mountains of books, hours of meditation, and a few kicks in the rear taught me what “should” be glaringly obvious. I don’t want to be perfect. Which is a good thing since I don’t have a clue what perfect looks like. I know what goes through my mind whenever I channel my old-time religion. It’s expectation of perfection and a whole lot of “shoulds”.
Pre-conceived ideas about what I “should” be or do made me rigid and and miserable and not a little judgmental. I was forever fighting against myself and the world. It wore me out and left me without choice and vulnerable when life didn’t go the way I expected. I got knocked down–a lot.
Here’s an analogy. A few years ago there were some wild winters in the Cle Elum Ranger District of the Okanogan Wenatchee National Forest. Heavy winds blew down hundreds of trees. It took the rangers and their crews most of the summer to clear the trails of blow downs. The next year heavy snow and avalanches did much the same thing. The trees were vulnerable because they could not bend. The storms took them out.
We are like trees in a storm when expectations of who we “should” be keeps us resisting the soul’s call for authentic self-expression. Life keeps blowing us down. I ask you, who would you be if you could give up who you think you “should” be and allow yourself to become what you are meant to be? How would you feel? What would your life look like? Would you allow yourself your meditation, passion, exercise, creativity, love, and connection with whatever brings you joy?
The storms that took out the trees had no effect on the wildflowers and grasses. They yielded to the elements and came back in the spring as vibrant and beautiful as ever.
Here’s the paradox. Living the joyful life is a soulful process. The soul is all about living authentically–from the place that makes you unique, precious, magnificent, and radiant. Living the joyful life means acceptance, willingness, conscious awareness, freedom, and being true to yourself–however that manifests.
There is no “should” about it.
